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The Invisible Touch

Sad though it may be to admit, a significant part of my life outside of College is spent working for Marks & Spencer in the food section at the local store. Whilst being a fairly dull and menial job for the most part, it does give me the opportunity to observe some of the bizarre behaviour exhibited by the consuming masses that descend on the store during an average day. The conclusion I have drawn from my observations is that food shopping is nothing short of outright warfare, it gives rise to the dormant hunter-gatherer who dwells inside each and every one of us.

The course of history indicates that mankind has evolved full circle in terms of acquiring foodstuffs. The snarling nurse who surges across your path in ASDA, grabbing the last loaf of Kingsmill from the shelf, whilst turning and cackling with hysteria isn't suffering from mental instability; he is merely another customer with mouths to feed. We have become the very same savage predators we tried so hard to evolve from.

In the beginning, shortly after he made the heavens and earth etc. God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground ."

Essentially we were given free reign to kill, cook and eat all of the animals, and reassured that there would be no guilt or shame imposed upon us if we did. God was very generous by giving us this wonderful menagerie to feast upon, although in those days we had to catch it ourselves, proof that nobody is perfect I suppose.

Fast forward a considerable number of years and we arrive in Greece (around 500 years before Mary and Joseph hit it off) at the foot of the acropolis in ancient Athens . Here we find one of the first markets, an open square surrounded by buildings, where it is possible to obtain numerous varieties of food in one place. Modern supermarkets are based on a similar principle, albeit somewhat more sophisticated and cosseting. The days of strolling out of a morning to kill the evening meal are over, and the physical pursuit of animals in order to kill them is now classed as a social outing.

Supermarkets have given us more choice than Adam and Eve could ever dream of, the fruit on God's precious tree is old hat when compared to Marks & Spencer's produce section. The downside is that increased choice equals increased demand and expectation; modern shoppers become agitated if there aren't at least twelve different brands of margarine to choose from. We rely totally on supermarkets to fuel our overloaded lifestyles, hence the reason people become so anxious and aggressive whilst shopping for food. Sweet old ladies will happily smash their basket into the shin of a mother attending to a crying child, in order to get the freshest ginger cake, and even the most placid of folk find themselves feeling troubled if their favourite microwaveable 'roast' dinner is out of stock.

Truth is there is no easy way to solve the violent cultural phenomenon I am calling Trolley Rage. In times of trouble we often look to God, our creator, for guidance and enlightenment, and where better to seek his advice than in the pages of his book, the Bible. The question is, next time Granny Smith relieves you of part of your shin, do return fire whilst shouting 'an eye for an eye you old goat', or do you extend your other leg and invite her to strike it twice as hard, safe in the knowledge that your good deed will be rewarded in the end?

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