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Frankly My Dear, I Don’t Jitterbug

There was a public dispute taking place in Texas in the 1920s (still going on in California and several other southern states) about whether Spanish should be used in the classroom to teach children from Mexican families, or whether English should be the sole language used. Ma Ferguson, who came to power in 1924 as Texas Governor, decided that the debate needed to be settled swiftly and decisively, and so publicly declared: ‘If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for the children of Texas’. Putting aside the hilariously obvious fact that English wasn’t invented when Jesus is alleged to have existed, one wonders why she felt the need to drag religion into the debate at all.

Miriam Amanda (Ma) Ferguson was only the second female State Governor in the USA, and the first one in Texas, having taken over from her husband Pa Ferguson following his impeachment. It is quite natural that she should want to make a powerful impression by appearing strong and decisive; however her use of the religious icon Jesus to reinforce her argument is both hypocritical and irrelevant. Once religion is introduced to a dispute it can never truly be resolved, since religion, by its very nature, is not based on tangible fact.

There is a cruel sense of irony in the fact that most religions promote themselves as peace-loving, and yet they are the very reason for so many of the conflicts in the world, both past and present. One need only look at the current problems in the Middle East, or mention the name Salman Rushdie within earshot of a mosque to witness this. Closer to home, the trouble in Northern Ireland is essentially rooted in a religious dispute, although thanks to the outstanding work of Mo Mowlam and the signing of the Good Friday Agreement, this does appear to have settled down in the last few years.

The recent case of Gillian Gibbons, the British teacher who was imprisoned in Sudan for naming a teddy-bear after the Prophet Muhammad, is a text-book example of how religious beliefs can overtake common-sense, turning a simple misunderstanding into an international situation. Gibbons was accused of inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs, even though it was the school children who chose the name of the bear. Whilst one can appreciate that some insult may have been caused, the whole case has a sanctimonious edge to it, as if the religious offence charges were merely a tool used by the Sudanese to establish moral superiority over a non-Muslim.

The situation in the UK is quite the opposite of this. We have a tendency to bend over backwards to accommodate the needs of non-Christian religions, often at the expense of traditional British culture, both religious and otherwise. I was hardly surprised to read that only one in five schools will stage a nativity play this Christmas, with many preferring modern alternatives such as Reindeer Ralph. I am not suggesting that every school should be putting on a nativity play each year, just that they should not feel pressured into avoiding doing one. A traditional nativity play is as much a cultural event as it is religious, and can be enjoyed by people of all persuasions. Ralph on the other hand sounds tediously American, no doubt an egocentric moron who shares his stable with five other reindeers, each of whom has commitment issues. A more interesting alternative has been created by the BBC, which recently announced plans to modernise the story of the nativity, relocating events to Liverpool, with Mary and Joseph as asylum seekers.

Some people find great reward and consolation in their religion, but for others who have just gone through life accepting its teachings, it can often be hard to stop and question their relevance. Having attended a Catholic school from the age of four, I grew up being taught to pray to Jesus at school and was conditioned in the concept that God created human beings and the Earth, and that Heaven was the ultimate goal in life. During my teenage years I began to reject this theory, and was able to take a step back and realise it didn’t mean very much to me. This left a lot of unanswered questions regarding life, however the beauty of a blank canvas is that you can paint your own picture.

Consider the world today as a disco at a nightclub, where people of all faiths and beliefs are gathered together having a good time. The DJ is playing a mixture of popular records, and just as one song finishes, he selects Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go as the next track. There is an instant reaction on the dance-floor: those people who love the record (and truly believe in its value) begin to jitterbug furiously in time to the beat; those who don’t like the record are quite content to stand at the edge of the dance-floor and entertain themselves; whilst the remaining others aren’t really that keen on the track, but they feel obliged to join in and mimic the dancing of others around them, rather than having the confidence to walk away. Religion is very much like a Wham! record; if you don’t like it, it’s ok not to dance.

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