The Column
My monthly rant about life, the universe, and everything in it
The Column #3
Release Date:
4th February 2004
Synopsis: The history of Saint Valentine's Day.
The Patron Saint of Commercialism
The festival of St. Valentine is nearly upon us once again, so that means it is time to dip into what little cash reserves you have accumulated since Christmas and spend, spend, spend. It seems there is no end of occasions to buy cards for these days; whether it be Birthdays, Anniversaries, Driving Test Pass, Driving Test Failure (a card expressing a sensitive mixture of consolation and good luck for next time), or a 'Happy Chinese New Year' card for your friend who likes a take-away from the local eatery every other Friday night.
Valentine's Day has become a highly commercialised affair; it brings a burden of expectation and can cause misery for many. For those among us who have sat waiting by the letterbox in the vain hope that the postman might bring a card from that elusive stranger, and then decided that perhaps it will arrive on the 15 th instead due to a mix up at the sorting office, it can be a very sad occasion. Any man who doesn't produce a card for his wife/girlfriend on Valentine's Day is in big trouble, and yet if he produced a card and flowers on any other day or the year he would be treated with unremitting suspicion. He would be better off wearing a t-shirt with Judas written across the front while carrying a silver fifty pence piece in his pocket.
Many suspect that Valentine's Day is the result of a combined effort by the major greetings card manufacturers to rob us of our hard earned; however the history of it is somewhat more interesting than that. It actually started in Roman times, and was traditionally held the night before the start of the Lupercalia festival. This was a fertility festival held on February 15th, and was essentially a primitive form of Blind Date, albeit without the grating scouse warblings of Cilla Black (or so one would dearly hope).
The names of the women in any particular village/settlement were put into an urn and the young men would pull out names at random and pair off with their selection. Many of these pairings resulted in marriage. This randomised pairing process has its merits, as it removes the inconvenience of having to chat up potential partners in nightclubs and bars, and simplifies the process of mating. I should imagine however, that there were a few disappointed faces each year on the morning of February the 15 th ?
Around this time Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers, and hence he outlawed marriage. Legend has it that a priest called Valentine began marrying couples in secret, but when the Emperor found out he threw him in jail. Before his execution he was visited by his jailor's daughter (she was allegedly doing a case-study on pagan rebellion), whom he fell in love with. In his final note to her he wrote 'From Your Valentine', hence the popular phrase.
The upshot of all this is that we are in fact sending cards to celebrate the beheading of a rebellious priest, and using the occasion to reveal our secret (or not, as the case often is) admiration for somebody. Happy Valentine my sweetheart, I love you lots, and by the way I truly am Your Valentine, because come the revolution, I will gladly have my head chopped off for the good of you and my fellow soldiers.