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Piano Man

I read with interest this week the story of the Piano Man, a mystery figure who was discovered on a Kent beach on April 7 th . The case is rather extraordinary due to the fact that he is completely mute and has so far been unable to communicate with his captors. As the labels had been removed from his clothing prior to his discovery, it has not yet been possible to accurately assess his social standing or approximate income. Police and social workers are searching for his true identity, and have set up a dedicated helpline for people to call with information.

The helpline has produced a positive response from members of the public. Social worker Michael Camp went on record to say "We have had one definite lead. A name has been given of a possible person from the Sussex area but I haven't been able to phone the person that phoned it in." Apparently the search is now on to find the person who rang in this tip, and Police are considering setting up a dedicated helpline for people to call with information.

Piano Man was found soaked to the skin, on a beach on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent. He was wearing a wet suit (as opposed to a wetsuit) which suggests he probably didn't thoroughly plan the trip, and Police were unable to ascertain whether he had been in the water due to the ferociousness of the rain.

He is currently being held in a psychiatric hospital in Gillingham ; he will not speak but, when left with a pen and paper, he drew a Swedish flag and a picture of a piano. Some critics have argued that as he was only provided with blue and yellow crayons his options were somewhat limited when it came to drawing national flags, but it is the image of the piano that is most significant. Upon seeing Piano Man's sketches, a social worker showed him the piano in the hospital's chapel, at which point he shocked staff with a performance of classical music that lasted for over two hours.

The mental health manager at the hospital went on to say "Nobody was skilled enough to recognise the music; they just knew it was classical music and he played very well." Piano Man has now played on several occasions for the staff at the unit, and has even written music which has been verified by experts as genuine. Allegedly there are plans to play his compositions to callers of the dedicated helpline (while they are on hold) if his situation doesn't improve, in order to perhaps jog a few memories.

Despite the fact that he drew a Swedish flag, police believe that Piano man is probably English, in his 20s or 30s. He has short brown hair, is of slim build, and is believed to have suffered a mental breakdown. His social worker has so far been unable to diagnose the exact cause of Piano Man's condition, although some experts have suggested that his drawings represent his annoyance that Ikea do not sell flat-pack grand pianos.

Orchestras around Europe are being contacted to see if they know him, and many people in this country have come forward to say that they believe they have seen him play at concert halls throughout Europe . Forgive me for being cynical but I can well imagine that the type of person who would make such a call. They would be standing in their garden by the Gazebo, casually munching organic chocolate while talking into a cordless handset in full view of the neighbours, perhaps while the Vicar is round for a ginger beer, in order to appear more cultured than they actually are. After all, in the concert halls I have been too (admittedly a limited few within England) it is usually very difficult to get a good glimpse of the pianist, let alone commit his face to memory.

Social worker Michael Camp claims to have made some progress towards communicating with Piano Man, claiming "He does not make any sounds but I think I can communicate with him through tiny nods." One would imagine this is not so different from managing a musical outfit such as Atomic Kitten, where any communication needs to be kept as simple as possible, so perhaps the answer would be to bring in legendary pop producer Pete Waterman at this stage.

I think it is only a matter of time before someone comes forward and recognises Piano Man, after all it is hard to imagine somebody with such a talent disappearing unnoticed. The most amazing thing about this whole story is it proves that the talent spotters searching for the next 'big thing' in music are looking in the wrong places. They shouldn't be concentrating on the young wannabes performing covers of Phil Collins records on Saturday night television shows; they should be wandering the beaches of Kent in the pouring rain where real talent is.

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