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Arnie & George

America has a great tradition of entertaining the world; it is the land of entertainment. A mere mention of the word Hollywood evokes memories of great movies past and present, and is enough to get anyone talking about their favourite films. Sitcoms such as Frasier, Friends and The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air proved massively popular worldwide, and they are just part of a long line of successes for America. Giant theme parks such as Disneyland and Universal Studios fascinate adults and children alike; the list is endless.

It will come as no surprise to most of you that there is currently a presidential election taking place across the Atlantic in the U.S.A. I suppose we as a nation should take a serious interest in proceedings given our close links with America , as the winner will be expected to influence our policies on war and peace over the next four years, however there is a far more interesting reason to follow it. This election is actually first class entertainment, it is being played out like a movie featuring real actors, and the story line is far more exciting than anything Richard Curtis can throw at us.

The basic plot is that George W. Bush is running for a second term in office, so that means it is time to crack open the safe and throw millions of dollars at a re-election campaign. According to official figures Bush will have spent over $250m on his campaign by the end of this month alone. It is frightening to think that while America can spend the best part of a billion dollars on publicity for two main candidates (the second being Democrat John Kerry), families in the third world can (according to the numerous charity adverts on television) construct their own functional suburb complete with running water and maintain a subsistence farm for £20 a month. Maybe if George W. Bush hired a Somalian economist to run the financial side of his campaign, the amount of money saved could be quietly embezzled into a small retirement fund for Bush and his chums Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?

Everybody in England has an opinion on Bush, and quite frankly there aren't many people outside the Blair household who believe he is in any way competent enough to function as the unofficial leader of the free world. George is undeterred by any criticism though, and his face is famous across the globe; one day a posterized silhouette of his profile will adorn student bed-sits all over Europe , replacing Che Guevara as the political icon of choice among the intelligent youth, although merely as a gesture of irony I might add.

The chief 'bad' guy is played by Michael Moore, the independent American film maker and talented author who has made it the focus of his life to discredit Bush and expose him as an inept daddy's boy. Moore represents everything smug middle class America hates; he is overweight, unshaven, badly dressed, his hair is a mess, he doesn't buy designer clothes, he doesn't smoke and he has made a lot of money by not conforming to society's rules. On a positive note his work is extensively researched, and he appears to have the interests of everyday people at heart in his pursuit of corporate America . The irony that the very people Moore is pursuing are actually financing his movies and books is not lost on him as he recently pointed out: "One of the wonderful flaws of capitalists is that they will actually help me produce something against their interests, if they can make a dime out of it."

Bush's chief ally in his quest for re-election is Arnold Schwarzenegger, an Austrian body-builder with an uncanny ability to act out roles requiring him to kill people whilst displaying no compassion whatsoever. He has saved America from danger many times onscreen, and now life is imitating art as he leads the crusade for Bush and the war on terrorism. I am a big fan of Schwarzenegger movies and have seen nearly all of them, but I do find it rather amusing when he starts quoting lines from his films in a speech supporting Bush. Having said that, there is a reassuring sense of security to be found in hearing Schwarzenegger tell you "we are winning the war on terrorism", and I can see why the Bush camp are delighted to have him on board. He redefined cinema by becoming the first actor to be a special effect in his own right. His physical presence made him believable as an 'American' soldier or cop who never loses (see Commando , Predator etc.), and later as an indestructible cyborg assassin in the Terminator films.

The character of George Bush in this election is not dissimilar to that of Arnie's greatest adversary the T1000 , superbly portrayed by Robert Patrick in the film Terminator 2 . For no matter how many holes are blown in Bush's credibility by opponents such as Michael Moore, or how many political explosions he is involved in (such as flying members of the Bin Laden family to safety on 13/09/01), he has the amazing ability to absorb and repair any damage he suffers, while still maintaining pursuit of his goal and emerging unscathed. This American election has all the qualities of a late-summer Blockbuster movie: the central characters have obvious flaws that the public are only too aware of; the budgets are on a par with anything 20 th Century Fox could churn out; and the conclusion seems pretty obvious from the outset - Bush will be re-elected.

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